Friday, December 17, 2010

Feats of Fun - Week 14 (Invoker)

Adam( ), the originator of the FridayFeat idea, has posted the first few weeks of FridayFeats over on which included all those who participated and not just my ideas.

You can find me at & Jeremy at

[caption id="attachment_1146" align="alignnone" width="347" caption="Coupled Retaliation"]Coupled Retaliation[/caption]

Coupled Retaliation
Prerequisites:Avenging Light
Spend your minor action to be able to repeat this attack as an immediate reaction on another enemy within 5 squares of the primary target when a second enemy hits an ally.

[caption id="attachment_1146" align="alignnone" width="311" caption="Chain Bolts"]Chain Bolts[/caption]

Chain Bolts
Prerequisites:Divine Bolts
Spend your minor action to allow you to attack a single enemy adjacent to each of the targets.

[caption id="attachment_1146" align="alignnone" width="347" caption="Dizzying Shards"]Dizzying Shards[/caption]

Dizzying Shards

Prerequisites:Grasping Shards

Targets grants combat advantage until the end of your next turn.

[caption id="attachment_1204" align="alignnone" width="340" caption="Hallowed Ground"]Hallowed Ground[/caption]

Hallowed Ground
Prerequisites:Sun Strike
Until the end of your next turn enemies cannot enter the square the target vacated.

[caption id="attachment_1146" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Vanguard's Knowledge"]Vanguard's Knowledge[/caption]

Vanguard's Knowledge
Prerequisites:Vanguard's Lightning
Targets communicate their strategy resulting in a -2 to attacks until the end of your next turn.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Feats of Fun - Week 13 (Shaman)

Adam( ), the originator of the FridayFeat idea, has posted the first few weeks of FridayFeats over on which included all those who participated and not just my ideas.

You can find me at & Jeremy at

[caption id="attachment_1146" align="alignnone" width="360" caption="Spirit Imposition"]Spirit Imposition[/caption]

Spirit Imposition
Prerequisites: Defending Strike
Until the end of your next turn an ally adjacent to your Spirit Companion when hit switches places with the Spirit Companion who then takes the damage.

[caption id="attachment_1146" align="alignnone" width="272" caption="Poltergeist"]Poltergeist[/caption]

Prerequisites: Haunting Spirits
Spend your minor action before attacking if you hit the target, it takes a -2 to attacks until the end of your next turn or Save Ends whichever is longer.

[caption id="attachment_1146" align="alignnone" width="280" caption="Death Guardian"]Death Guardian[/caption]

Death Guardian
Prerequisites: Protecting Strike
A single ally if reduced to zero hit points or less may use a healing surge as a free action until the end of your next turn.

[caption id="attachment_1146" align="alignnone" width="450" caption="Vexing Stalker"]Vexing Stalker[/caption]

Vexing Stalker
Prerequisites: Stalker's Strike
Spirit Companion can flank the target from any square adjacent to the target.

[caption id="attachment_1146" align="alignnone" width="480" caption="Uatu"]Uatu's Fulcrum[/caption]

Uatu's Fulcrum
Prerequisites: Watcher's Strike
You may act at the beginning 2-initiative-steps earlier and grant no combat advantage or you may add damage 1/teir+2.

[caption id="attachment_1146" align="alignnone" width="479" caption="Elemental Crossover"]Elemental Crossover[/caption]

Elemental Crossover
Prerequisites: Wrath Of Winter
Adjacent squares to the square that the companion leaves and appears in are difficult terrain until the end of your next turn.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Feats of Fun - Week 12 (Sorcerer)

Adam( ), the originator of the FridayFeat idea, has posted the first few weeks of FridayFeats over on which included all those who participated and not just my ideas.

You can find me at & Jeremy at

[caption id="attachment_1146" align="alignnone" width="323" caption="Exploding Orb"]Exploding Orb[/caption]

Exploding Orb

Prerequisites: Acid Orb (Sorcerer)

Spend your minor action before attacking to add a burst 1 1d6+Charisma modifier attack to adjacent enemies to the target.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="240" caption="Greek Fire"]Greek Fire[/caption]

Greek Fire

Prerequisites: Burning Spray (Sorcerer)

Spend a minor action before attacking and blast becomes a zone (sustain zone as a minor action) that fire damage equal to character's Charisma modifier when entering or leaving the zone.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="347" caption="Scintillating Bolt"]Scintillating Bolt[/caption]

Scintillating Bolt

Prerequisites: Chaos Bolt (Sorcerer)

If you roll odd on the attack the target is also dazed.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="391" caption="Ice Sheet"]Ice Sheet[/caption]

Ice Sheet

Prerequisites: Dragonfrost

Spend a minor action before attacking causes burst 1 difficult terrain centered on target's starting square until end of your next turn.

[caption id="attachment_1147" align="alignnone" width="372" caption="Thunder Stomp"]Thunder Stomp[/caption]

Thunder Stomp

Prerequisites: Storm Walk (Sorcerer)

Spend a minor action and at the end of the shift adjacent creatures are knocked prone.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Feats of Fun - Week 11 (Warden)

Adam( ), the originator of the FridayFeat idea, has posted the first few weeks of FridayFeats over on which included all those who participated and not just my ideas.

You can find me at & Jeremy at

[caption id="attachment_1128" align="alignnone" width="335" caption="True Protector"]True Protector[/caption]

True Protector

Prerequisites: Earth Shield Strike (Warden)

Shield bonus applies to an adjacent ally also.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Earthslide"]Earthslide[/caption]


Prerequisites: Strength of Stone (Warden)

You or an adjacent ally may shift 1 square when you successfully hit.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Thorn Snare"]Thorn Snare[/caption]

Thorn Snare

Prerequisites: Thorn Strike (Warden)

Successfully hit target's movement is reduced by 1 until end of your next turn.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Grounded"]Grounded[/caption]


Prerequisites: Weight of Earth (Warden)

Resist all forced movement with a save and remain upright with a successful save.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Feats of Fun - Week 10 (Seeker)

Adam( ), the originator of the FridayFeat idea, has posted the first few weeks of FridayFeats over on which included all those who participated and not just my ideas.

You can find me at & Jeremy at

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="346" caption="Honey to the Swarm"]Honey to the Swarm[/caption]

Honey to the Swarm

Prerequisites: Biting Swarm (Seeker)

Sustain -2 penalty to attack rolls for the primary target with a minor action.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="262" caption="Cold Feet"]Cold Feet[/caption]

Cold Feet

Prerequisites: Elemental Spirits (cold) (Seeker)

Primary target's movement is treated as moving through difficult terrain until the end of your next turn.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Smoke Gets in Your Eyes"]Smoke Gets in Your Eyes[/caption]

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

Prerequisites: Elemental Spirits (fire) (Seeker)

Primary target is blinded until the end of your next turn.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="302" caption="Magnetize"]Magnetize[/caption]


Prerequisites: Elemental Spirits (lightning) (Seeker)

Primary target in metal armor receives -1 attacks with weapons containing metal & move toward large metal objects (metal armor) +1 & away from metal objects as though moving through difficult terrain.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="324" caption="Thunder Shock"]Thunder Shock[/caption]

Thunder Shock

Prerequisites: Elemental Spirits (thunder) (Seeker)

Deafened & thunder vulnerable 1 until the end of your next turn.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="269" caption="Dragging Spirits"]Dragging Spirits[/caption]

Dragging Spirits

Prerequisites: Grappling Spirits (Seeker)

Pull target 1 square or knock prone.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="311" caption="Raptor Flock"]Raptor  Flock[/caption]

Raptor Flock

Prerequisites: Guardian Harrier (Seeker)

Enemies adjacent to target that do not move 2 squares from their starting square takes Str modifier damage.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="307" caption="Writhing Vines"]Writhing Vines[/caption]

Writhing Vines

Prerequisites: Thorn Cloud Shot (Seeker)

Any creature that passes adjacent to the zone are attacked by the vines with an immediate interrupt, hit delivers poison Wis modifier damage.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Thunderheart's Beginning: Chapter 1

I had originally started a project for National Novel Writing Month (aka NaNoWriMo) but between my work schedule and other hobby activities, I haven't been able to keep up with the hopes of having 50,000 words by the end of November. Not wanting my writing to go in vain (regardless of how good or bad it is), and with the hope to finish the story eventually, I've decided to post it here on the site. Here is the "back of the book":

Set on the continent of Faerûn on the world of Abeir-Toril, apart of the Forgotten Realms, Thunderheart's Beginning is the prequel novel to the Thunderheart Incorporated Dungeons & Dragons campaign I have been running since April of 2009. Progression of the Thunderheart Incorporated campaign can be found here:

Kron Thunderheart was not always a level-headed dwarven wizard. Before forming his adventuring company based out of Waterdeep and beginning his studies into wizardry, he traveled the world as the second in command of an adventuring group called The Seven. They were a band of seven adventures who fought together against many adversaries. Some called them heroes, others called them villains, but The Seven were known far and wide for their deeds.

Thunderheart's Beginning: Chapter 1

Kron awoke but kept his eyes shut tight. He was not sure what caused him to be pulled from his restful slumber, so he waited, relying on his other senses to search out for a clue. He listened intently between breaths for anything irregular. His patience paid off as he heard the slightest sound of a soft heel across the stone. Whatever had found its way into his sleeping chambers was small, quiet, and was suddenly close enough for Kron to feel its body heat as it radiated onto his arm. He continued his deep, slumbering breaths, not only to fool a potential intruder into thinking Kron was still asleep, but to also allow his nose a chance to find anything out of the ordinary. It was there, the faint hint of salt in the air. He slowly began to smile and started laughing as he quickly turned his head, opened his eyes, and caught his young nephew standing next to the bed. "Oh Uncle Kron! How did you know it was me and not some terrible monster," Bryn asked. "My dearest nephew," he answered between laughs. "What monster would have been busy with those salty finger-paints?"
"I made you a picture to take with you! Look! It is me, and mom, and you with the black beard with braids, and here's my dad with the red beard!" A female dwarf appeared in the doorway wearing a cooking apron and carrying a pot. "Bryn, let your uncle be, he's got a long road ahead of him tomorrow."
"Yes momma," he said as he turned to Kron, laying the finger-painting on the bed and giving him a hug. "I love you uncle, and will see you next time you can visit!"
"Aye lad, that you will."

A few hours later, Kron was headed south, away from the mountain ranges where he was raised as he would head deep into the human lands. His stocky form broke the tree line and was greeted by a passing group of human travelers. “Hail! Am I headed in the right direction? I’m looking for Almraiven down in Calimshan.” One of the more heavily armed men spoke up laughing, “leave it to a dwarf to travel from the Spine of the World to the Shining Sea with nothing more than the sun as his guide!”
“Friend, I do not know you and do not wish you harm, but speak ill of my kind again and your eyes will never take in another view of the Shining Sea,” Kron replied through clenched teeth. Still laughing, the man dismounted his horse and extended his hand in a friendly gesture. “I think I rather like you, friend. The name’s Thoril, Thoril Hawklight, and it just so happens we are headed to Almraiven. Would you care to join us on the journey?” Kron eyed the human, relaxed his jaw a bit, and saw the humor in this situation. Here he was, a dwarf, alone, dirty from hard travel, sticks and leaves matted in his beard, out of his homelands for the first time, headed to a strange city, and standing poised to attack the first group of passerby’s he had happened upon. He let out a great dwarven laugh, took Thoril’s hand, and explained, “You’ll have to excuse my behavior. I’ve been traveling alone for the past week with my guard up. Thank you for the offer of friendship and traveling companionship. I would be honored to travel with one so willing to extend his hand to an angry dwarf! I am Kron Thunderheart and I am beginning to think it is lunch time.”
“It is indeed good to meet you, Kron Thunderheart, and I agree,” Thoril said as he turned towards the others in the caravan. ‘Let’s stop here for a meal and continue on our way. We are only four days out from Almraiven!” Cheers went up around the group at the mention of the end of their journey and Kron wondered where they were coming from and what business they had in Almraiven. These questions, and more, would have to wait until after he had silenced the grumbling in his stomach.

As the remaining dishes were being washed and packed back up for travel, Thoril was introducing Kron to the other members of the caravan. “This is Elkas Gellantara, he is a mighty hunter with his bow and actually put together this small group.” Kron shook Elkas’ hand and asked, “Where is this caravan coming from?” Elkas spoke up and explained the caravan was originally hired to escort an old merchant to see The Librarian. The merchant had come into possession of several ancient texts and had heard The Librarian would pay top dollar for such finds.

The group had escorted the old man through Calim Desert, past Castle Tethyr, across the Cloud Peaks, around the Serpent Hills, through Waterdeep and Silverymoon, to finally reach The Librarian just east of Everlund…all at the promises of a great payout on these books. Once there, The Librarian refused to pay for such poor forgeries and threatened to banish the caravan to another plane of existence for their arrogance and stupidity. Once he calmed down, Thoril was able to talk some sense into him and The Librarian had the old man sent to the Everlund jail. Kron sat on the edge of his seat listening to the story as Elkas told it. He recognized specific landmarks of the various areas described in the story as he too had traveled through Waterdeep and the Cloud Peaks after leaving the Spine of the World. His mind swirled with images of a Wizard standing over the old man and tossing the forged books across the room. These are the same images that had danced in his head over the last few years, urging him to leave the mines where his family had worked for a hundred generations and make something more of himself. Thoril reappeared; Kron was so engrossed in the story that he had not seen him leave. Thoril put his hand on Kron’s shoulder, smiled, and addressed Elkas, “We’re ready to move out. Sorry Kron, the stories will have to wait until nightfall.”

Over the next few days, Kron became good friends with Thoril and Elkas, asking about their various adventures across the land. For the most part they had worked as hired escorts for traveling merchants but by Kron’s reactions one would think they had slain dragons or toppled kingdoms. Out of all their stories, the person he seemed most interested in was The Librarian. Where did he come from? How old was he? Could have really banished the entire caravan to another plane?

Those questions and more were asked even as the group entered the Almraiven city gates. After a quick debriefing dividing of the remaining provisions, the caravan was disbanded and Kron stood on the busy market streets with Thoril and Elkas as his unofficial guides to the pleasures offered within the teeming city. Kron sampled many of the local delicacies as they made their way to a tavern near the docks that Thoril claimed had the best baked sea bass he had ever tasted. As they entered and took a seat, a woman approached Thoril and planted a kiss right on his lips. Kron turned a few shades of red in embarrassment, which caused Elkas to let out a laugh. “Kron, this is my sister Alugwen. She became betrothed to Thoril before we left three weeks ago.”
“It is a pleasure to meet such a fine lass, even one with less whiskers than a dwarven pup!” to which Thoril, Kron, and Elkas laughed heartily as Alugwen sized up the dwarf.
“It seems pups are all that come out of the dwarven lands these days,” she retorted and waved over the nearest server. “A round of drinks for these boys, they’ve traveled long just to get back to me.” The four drank, ate, and talked late into the night. Thoril decided to walk Alugwen home as Elkas helped Kron get setup with a room above the tavern. Elkas smiled and asked, “Kron, over the last few days you have soaked up our mundane stories as if we were great adventurers. I welcome the attention, but not once have you spoken as to why are were headed to Almraiven.” Kron completed his transaction with the tavern owner and stroked his beard thoughtfully. “You see Elkas, I have always wanted to travel, but the dwarves in my family are built for working the rock. Do not misunderstand me, much pleasure is to be gained from the work we do mining and forging great weapons. But after creating a perfect hammer, I can’t help to think of the goblin skulls it would crush or undead it would destroy, all the while I was still just stuck in my hole in the ground. I wanted to get out and see the world, meet the adventurers of the land. It was my time to seek out my own adventures.” Still smiling and doing so more now from the dwarf’s honestly, Elkas continued the line of questioning, “Why Almraiven?” Kron stretched his arms with a great yawn, smiled and answered, “Come tomorrow, I will show you. For now, I’m going to sleep.”

Elkas woke early the next morning interested to see what Kron had in store. He stopped by Thoril’s house on the way to the tavern and explained Kron’s story as was explained the night before. There was something more to this dwarf and the two humans were not about to miss out on an adventure. As they approached the tavern, they spotted Kron standing out on the front step tapping his foot in anticipation of their arrival. “Finally!” he said sarcastically. “Follow me; we’re headed to meet someone I have only heard of in stories from my father. Which way to the 9th dock?” Thoril smiled at the thought of another Thunderheart traipsing across the land much as they had found Kron almost a week ago. Still smiling, pointed in the direction Kron had requested, and the three of them started off down the road. Determined dwarf leading the way, followed by two adventurous humans, excited and filled with enthusiasm for what this day could bring.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Feats of fun - week 9 (Runepriest)

Adam( ), the originator of the FridayFeat idea, has posted the first few weeks of FridayFeats over on which included all those who participated and not just my ideas.

You can find me at & Jeremy at

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Lasting Impression"]Lasting Impression[/caption]

Lasting Impression

Prerequisites: Runepriest

The benefit granted from your At-will attack based on the Runic State last 1 additional turn.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="288" caption="Tightly Bound"]Tightly Bound[/caption]

Tightly Bound

Prerequisites: Word of Binding (Runepriest)

You can use your move action to sustain the immobilize effect on one adjacent enemy.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Minimize"]Minimize[/caption]


Prerequisites: Word of Diminishment (Runepriest)

The target gains no benefit from Combat Advantage & cannot make Opportunity Attacks until end of your next turn.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Damaging Exchange"]Damaging Exchange[/caption]

Damaging Exchange

Prerequisites: Word of Exchange (Runepriest)

You grant an opportunity attack to an adjacent target, if they attack, you may make a free action MBA (melee basic attack) in response.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="298" caption="Legionnaire"]Legionnaire[/caption]


Prerequisites: Word of Shielding (Runepriest)

One adjacent ally gains your shield bonus until beginning of your next turn.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Feats of Fun - Week 8 (Psion)

Adam( ), the originator of the FridayFeat idea, has posted the first few weeks of FridayFeats over on which included all those who participated and not just my ideas.

You can find me at & Jeremy at

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Weakened Resolve"]Weakened Resolve[/caption]

Weakened Resolve

Pre:Disheartened (Psion)

Targets penalties apply to damage for attacks also.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="240" caption="Adaptive Strike"]Adaptive Strike[/caption]

Adaptive Strike

Pre:Force Punch (Psion)

You target AC, Fortitude or Reflex whichever is the lowest.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="200" caption="Reduce Friction"]Reduce Friction[/caption]

Reduce Friction

Pre:Kinetic Trawl (Psion)

Double the pull & target treats adjacent squares as difficult terrain until EONT.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="267" caption="Displaced"]Displaced[/caption]


Pre:Memory Hole (Psion)

Your appearance is overlaid on an enemy adjacent to target until BONT.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="181" caption="Barbed Thrust"]Barbed Thrust[/caption]

Barbed Thrust

Pre:Mind Thrust (Psion)

until EONT target is deafened, on a critical the target is blinded also until EONT.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

D&D Essentials Explained

I was wandering through YouTube during lunch today and came across this set of videos from Wizards of the Coast. Paul Bazakas, National Account Director and Mike Mearls, Group Manager of D&D R&D explain not only the content but also the reasoning behind the Essentials line and how it fits together with the fourth edition of Dungeons and Dragons. I'll reserve my comments until the end of the 3rd video...

Wow. Well, I must say, all of my worries and misconceptions are gone. The Essentials line is an addition to fourth edition D&D just as if a new Players Handbook or Monster Manual was released. It is not to replace anything! This is great news! I'm willing to embrace expansions on the current system (especially at the lower price point) easier than if Essentials really was a different version of 4E. Thank you Mike and Paul for filming this and putting me at ease.

Personally, I'm not interested in the tokens (I have over 350 miniatures) but I can see how new players would not have the same kind of existing resources I have collected over time.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Feats of Fun - Week 7 (Monk)

Week 7 (15 OCT 10) my week has been ridiculously busy, so no comments and little reformatting.

Adam ( ) is still posting the FridayFeats over on

You can find me at & Jeremy at

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="295" caption="Judo"]Judo[/caption]


Pre:Monk w/ an At-Will monk power you may slide the target one square OR trade places with an enemy at the end of your move

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="288" caption="Furimi Waza"]Furimi Waza[/caption]

Furimi Waza

Pre:Monk If you use your Movement Technique after attacking you gain a +1/tier to AC until the end of your next turn

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="272" caption="Capoeira"]Capoeira[/caption]


Pre:Monk Any round you use your Movement Technique, targets of your At-Will attacks are slowed.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A Meeting of Heroes

Since only 2 players could make it to the D&D session, I had the party sitting around and Kron (owner of the Thunderheart Incorporated adventuring company) started telling the story of how he first met Bojangles. It took place in a whorehouse called The Wooden Wench (where the wine is cheap and the women are cheaper) in the very center of Dock Ward in Waterdeep.

Normally Kron is just an NPC but I had Wayne play both Kron and Bojangles since Bojangles wasn't actually in the fight until half way through the very last battle. Normally I wouldn't do this to a player, but Wayne is my go-to player when we have missing people and is just there to have fun no matter what happens.

Here is the setup I emailed them a few days before...
Mariz has worked with Kron for quite some time but Bojangles' first meeting was one surrounded in filth and mysteries.

Dock Ward is Waterdeep's oldest and most colorful ward. The harbor is very much a working place, full of sweating, cursing dockworkers and sailors loading and unloading vessels. Carts grown hastily between warehouses all over the southern half of the city and Dock Ward, carrying goods to and from the ships. Dock Ward is also notorious as a lawless, brawling place of drunks, smugglers, and fell magic.

Notable landmarks of Dock Ward include Cookhouse Hall, Shippers' Hall, and the Full Sails tavern, headquarters of the Most Diligent League of Sail-Makers & Cordwainers. One of the less notable establishments of Dock Ward is The Wooden Wench, existing in the very center of the ward, drawing a more nefarious crowd. Many pleasures are avilable at The Wooden Wench but the servicers aren't the cleanliest.

Kron Thunderheart gt a tip there was something strange happening at The Wooden Wench and took Mariz into Dock Ward to check things out. Finding the brothel was easy enough and the stench was nearly overwhelming when they entered...

Here is a picture of the full map, the brothel has 2 stories with a single wooden staircase connecting them.

(click to enlarge)

This was the bottom floor. Mariz can be seen here talking to the owner of the establishment. He and Kron decided to split up but had a code-word to let the other know if they were in trouble. They would yell “SUBMARINE!” and the other would come running from wherever they were in this “inn of sin”.

(click to enlarge)

The stairs led up to the 2nd floor with 2 private rooms and 1 semi-private room.

(click to enlarge)

Here are some details about the 2nd floor.

(click to enlarge)

Once the party busted through the door to the main suite where BoJangles’ soul was being leeched, I turned off Radio Rivendell and kicked on the iPod.

They party was forced out of the room by the succubus, so they decided to try to get help from the people “busy” in the semi-private room. They opened the door to find the patrons and workers had been turned into undead creatures!

(click to enlarge)

"At least they're not flanking us!"

They defeated the undead and found a magical jeweled dagger that would one-shot the succubus, but sadly, they didn’t know that was its purpose (read: failed their arcane check) and never used it. Once they got through to the master suite, the succubus had Bojangles knocked out in a ritual circle and had begun to leech his soul. They attacked and she quickly kissed Kron, putting him under her spell. He was able to get Bojangles out of the summoning circle though, and right in time, as she “dominated” Mariz and controlled his next turn…meaning if Kron hadn’t gotten Bojangles out of the circle, she would have had control of all 3 of them and eaten very well that night. Of course, breaking the 4th wall, one of the players mentioned “we can’t die, we’re sitting in the guild hall telling this story!”

At one point my wife (who does not play D&D with us) came out of the bedroom to see how the game was going; she had no idea we were playing in a whorehouse that night. She was looking at the table with a puzzled look on her face and one of the players pointed saying “Here is a man, holding a pig, standing on a bed, in a whorehouse.” She looked at him, then looked at me, and looked at the other player (who was laughing uncontrollably at this point), and then looked back at me. I said “Well, you see…we’re…” and she cut me off with a wave of her hand and said “Uhnt! I don’t want to know,” and she walked away laughing. It had to of been the highlight of the night.